For the past few days I have been loving the idea of summer. The past few days I have also spent the majority of my time in my bed catching up on the many sleepless nights before it. I think of her everyday and long for her touch every day. As I have said before, the moment, and I mean the moment I wake I hear her name and the last thing I hear before I sleep is her name.
Suffice to say things are never easy when your heart yearns for what it does not have. That does not mean that it can not have it. No matter what struggles in life may occur, we are the masters of our fate. Our fate is but what we make. No matter what life throws at us we must always remember it is our choices that lead us down the road we are on. It is our choices that decide who we are under pressure and in love. We can blame our actions on the circumstances at hand but in the end they are our choices to make and belong to no one else. Thus when times are hard we must always remember that if we do not like the circumstances that we are in, we always have the power to change them.
I made a promise to the one I love most in this world. Regardless of what has done in the past. Should you be reading this I pray you listen true.
Darlin, I love you with all that I am. I miss you terribly. Life as I have known it has been a mere shadow of the life that you had shown to me. I shall never forget you. I love you with every fiber of my being. I made a promise to you that I would never try to contact you and so far I have done just that and will continue to do so. I do not know if you feel like you have anything to be sorry for but if you do, banish those thoughts from your mind for you have nothing to be sorry for.
Remember you must always follow your heart. You are the master of your fate. You always have a choice and you must never forget that. I do not know where you are I do not know what you are doing and I do not know who you are with. None of these things matter. Make sure you are happy and in love, that is all that matters to me. I am willing still, to do anything and everything you desire. Is that a stupid thing to admit even now? Perhaps but we are all fools when in love. I pray some day you come back, that you have the true desire to be with me but that is something you will have to decide for yourself. You have always known what it would take to be with me and you know what you must do even know to make it happen.
If I am ever to truly let you go it will happen through the natural course of time when my heart tells me to do so then it shall be done. But being as I have learned to listen to my heart and not fight it I will continue to listen to my heart. For once you get your heart speaking to you it is mighty difficult to turn away.
For even now my heart yearns for thee. I have no understanding of this except that I do know without a fault that I love you and wish to be with you. We have braved so many storms together and know each other it would seem, more than we know ourselves.
Should you ever need me, you know where I am. I will not give up, my heart will not allow it. Remember the past is just that the past. Things done in the past can not be changed or altered. They are things that we must live with but never let those things of the past hinder or cloud our ability to create a new future. For while the past may be an indicator of the future, it is not the future.
Opportunities missed may trouble the heart, but we must always remember that there are more opportunities in this world for us. We must always look for those signs and when the time comes move towards it, our goal, our desire.
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Simply put, I love you. I want you. I will wait because I know no other way and my heart refuses to let go. When the omens tell me that my treasure is gone forever then they will guide me to a new pastures. Until then the omens beg me to stay strong. I will dare not disobey the signs of God.
Stay strong, be well. Find happiness and love. If you are not happy and are not in love remember, you are the master of your fate.
- Gerry
P.S: I love you
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