Moments in time

Just as the title says everyone has their moments. Moments of pain, moments of joy, moments of all sorts. As we progress through this existence we call life, each person has moments which define them. These moments in time help shape the fabric of what this person's reality is and affect the decisions later on in that person's life.

Everyone is going through something. The only question is what is it. Might thoughts and feelings do not change. I wait. I do not even know what I am waiting for, but I still wait.

"the heart knows what the mind does not" - not a clue

I am seeking what we all want in life. A true connection with another human being. We continue to put ourselves out on that line time after time only to be struck down time and time again. While many give up others persevere through troubled times such as these. They fight through the pain of loss and come out transformed into something better than they were before armed with the knowledge of the past.

Wars rage within the hearts of men and women. This is simply what we do, but if we are ever to find peace with ourselves we must find within ourselves what we really want. Define it. Then do whatever it takes to achieve it.

Lord knows I have found out the hard way of a multitude of actions that are and are not acceptable and among the actions learned even fewer that will yield the results I desire. Experience is the ultimate teacher, inspiring wisdom through the continued use of knowledge learned throughout life.

Every day I wake up thinking of one person. Every night I go to sleep thinking of one person. Lord only knows I will never be able to seek her out, tell her how much I love her, among so many other things. Interestingly enough though, it was the seeking that caused so many problems to begin with. Constantly trying to get the answer every moment of every day. While persistence to a degree is heartening, and flattering to say the least everything has it's limit. Thus I have learned one mighty important lesson at least. Do not rush my friends.

I wait. I must develop my patience to an extent that I have no true understanding. Certain things in life must be sought out, but when it comes to matters of the heart, no man can rush such things. The day will come when the woman is not only willing but able to find me as well will things ever come to pass.

Particular I may be, never the less I know what I want and will not settle for anything less.

The heart is not something that can be earned or achieved such as some trophy. It is something that must be given freely and completely without complexities or pride. Love is enough and that is all my heart craves. There are many things I miss, naturally. I often find myself using every means of distraction in order to quell the turmoil that churns within my mind. World of Warcraft for instance is one method of passing the time. When things become to great working out the body to pure exhaustion is rather effective as well.

The end of the day a person has nothing but their thoughts to keep them warm in the night, and this is not always such a reassuring means to an end.

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If nothing else I hope and pray happiness for the one I love remains absolute. I pray every night for her happiness and her safety. Perhaps some day my love will find me. I hope and pray for that day. Maybe some day, that moment in time will be realized. That moment she will know...that moment I will know, that moment...the universe will cry out in joy because the soul of the universe will bathe in the love of the soul-mates.

Until that day I hold my head up high. I smile and think of her smile. I feel the warmth of her arms around me. I feel the beating of her heart within my chest.

Some day... I will cherish forever that moment in time.

-Sleven

P.S: I love you