Confusion

I do not know what is going on as of late. Things do not make sense. I feel I must move on and try to do so but so many things, so many signs do not make sense to me. Small reminders are everywhere and I have no idea what to make of them. I remember things from the past that give me strong indications of what I should do and what I want to do. They do not always match up.

My heart does not want to go anywhere. It wants to stay in the past. Lord knows there certainly is no rush now.

I find it strange that no matter what my heart still yearns for hope though there is none that I can see with the common eye. I have been cast aside as a weed from a beautiful garden.

It simply makes no sense why my heart yearns for what isn't there. Though the heart often sees into the soul of the world that our conscious minds rarely can understand.

Every mortal strives for love in their own way. Consciously or unconsciously it happens. I am doing what I can to keep myself away from looking for such things. Lord knows the last time I looked for it, damn near robbed me of my sanity.

What truly confuses me are the signs that I am seeing. Though some are just painful.

Beautiful thing is though... least I have time...

Just.. Why Holly, why do you plague my thoughts still. Why are you in my dreams. The aches of certain pains are gone, I am left asking why.

Why Holly have you left me. Why did you leave me.

P.S. : I love you